Tuesday, February 23, 2010


I swear, I'm updating this page in my head and not on this page anymore. I really thought the page would just update itself as long as I thought about it hard enough. I guess that's not working.

Travis pointed out the awesome comment from Feche on Saturday (hooray! I'm huge in Argentina! Apparently.) And then Berenger of all people called me out for not updating my page. Have you updated your page Berenger? Oh, right, you don't have one.

So here's my update: Bam.

What, that's not good enough for you?

What if I show you the Cop Out trailer? No? What if I Give you the RED BAND Cop Out Trailer (Careful, it's an rated R trailer)?

What if I give you the new Nightmare on Elm Street Trailer?

(This is trailer two, and it looks good.) I'm digging that they're taking this seriously. The thing that always bothered me about Nightmare on Elm Street, and the reason I was such a Ft13 guy instead, was the corny jokes just ruined everything about Nightmare for me. Freddy's punchlines got progressively dumber and more painful to watch, and at the very least Jason kept quiet and just looked creepy. Of the big 3 Horror franchises of the 80's (Ft13, Nightmare, Halloween) Freddy was a distant 3rd (though still lightyears ahead of Chucky, ugh, so terrible). But the first Nightmare is actually good. (Has Johnny Depp in it, too). It was just that after that one (which was straight horror) it turned into campy, ridiculous, "let's let Freddy have Bond-ian punchlines after every kill" horror. (For the record, those Bond-ian punchlines were killing 007 in the mid 80's to early 90's as well. This is when it became a bad parody of itself). But now it looks like they're being all serious and scary and I'm intrigued, which is something I thought no Nightmare movie would ever do for me again.

Also, who is that guy? That's a page full of useful information right there. You may need to know who that guy is some day.

So, Mom may have solved the mystery of the Bacon Bits. Note those two bottles in the picture there. The black labeled one is bacon bits. The red labeled one is bacon pieces. The black labeled one has 3.0 oz. of bacon in it. The red labeled one has 2.8 oz. of bacon in it. They both cost the exact same amount. So what's the difference? Apparently bacon pieces are slightly bigger. So .2 oz. less fit in a bottle. So, I buy the black label. I racked my brain on this for weeks. They have the exact same nutritional info. It was driving me nuts, and I was feeling like I was getting away with something by getting my extra .2 oz. of bacon. Now I know, I'm getting tinier pieces of bacon. Meh.

But now I have a new mystery. I use Pandora. I tell it a song I like and it makes a radio station that plays other songs like that song. Many of you probably use it or have used it in the past. Also, I assume many of you know my musical tastes, so it's probably not a big shock to you that at some point I made a radio station based on a Cypress Hill song. It's cool. It plays a lot of Ice Cube, Wu-Tang, Dr. Dre, things like that. And then, twice now, inexplicably, in the middle of an hour or so of having it playing in the background it plays THIS.

Now, Pandora uses some scientific, insanely complicated, more confusing than the BCS rating system formula to compare songs and determine which ones are like the one I input when I created the station. So how exactly is Yvonne Elliman singing "If I can't have you" like Cypress Hill singing "How I could just kill a man..."?

As Geoffrey Rush says in Shakespeare in Love: "It's a mystery."