Chapter 2 - Stories Need Pirates. Sort of.

Ready for chapter 2? It's down at the bottom somewhere. I was thinking what a good idea this was so that I wouldn't have to actually bother finding links or stuff to post, but of course since I did that someone sent me a good link I have to post.

This is Dungeons and Dragons on the Microsoft Surface. Pretty cool.

Well, ok, I had one link. No wait, I have two.

This is some thermal imaging of bats flying out of their cave. Again, pretty cool.

Also, I enjoyed these ridiculous and unnecessary product reviews.

See, I totally give up trying to find links and I have 3 of them without trying.

OK, on to Chapter 2:

***

On the deck of the "Green Squid" Captain Voosh looked out at the country side as they sailed into the harbor of Grandview and said, "Someone's built a fire out there."

His first mate, Mumphrey, took a look and said, "Probably orcs."

"Or hunters." The Captain said.

"Hunters don't build fires. Scares the animals away."

Captain Voosh got out his spyglass and tried to see if he could spot any orcs, but it was getting dark, and all he could see was a small campfire with some shapes around it. He said, "You're probably right."

Mumphrey didn't bother gloating, just shrugged and said, "We're going in tonight?"

"Landing on the docks. Like a legitimate ship."

Mumphrey's face soured. "This is no way to be pirates."

"We're not going to be pirates for much longer." Voosh said. "They're giving us a conscription."

"What does that mean?"

"It means we'll be legitimate. At least as far as Grandview is concerned. We'll be privateers."

"What the hell is a private ear?"

"Privateers. Like, legalized piracy."

Mumphrey said, "I don't like things that are legal."

Voosh shrugged. "It won't make much difference. There's not a lot of ships on the sea to rob anyway. At least this way we get paid a stipend."

"What the hell's a stipend?"

"Cash. Money. Gold. They'll pay us once a month."

Mumphrey said, "What for?"

Voosh shrugged. "I don't know. I guess for not attacking Grandview ships. And for attacking ships Grandview is at war with."

"Who's Grandview at war with?"

Voosh shrugged again. "No one as far as I know. But if they're signing up privateers then you can bet they're gearing up for one."

"Gearing up for a war." Mumphrey said, mulling it over. "Hm. Interesting."

"Is it?" Voosh asked. He was trying to put his spyglass back in it's case and was watching the black cat sleeping on the deck rail. "Doesn't that cat worry about falling off of there?" Roll over the wrong way, Voosh thought, and boom, a forty foot drop to the ocean. He didn't think the cat would like that very much.

"They like heights." Mumphrey said, looking at the cat. "It's interesting, the war thing, because I can't imagine anyone our king would want to go to war with."

"Our king?" Voosh asked smiling.

"Well, he's going to be paying us. Plus, I was born in Grandview."

"Oh." Voosh continued to smile. "I think the problem is, he's asleep. I mean he's not going to know if he rolls the wrong way, is he?"

"The king?"

"The cat."

Mumphrey said, "Oh. If it bothers you so much go move him."

"It doesn't bother me. I mean, he can sleep where he wants right? As long as he keeps the rats off the ship."

"He has been doing a good job of that."

"Gandermere, maybe?" Voosh asked.

"I think his name is Midnight isn't it?"

"No, I mean the country. Would Grandview go to war with them?"

Mumphrey frowned. Sometimes Voosh made it hard to follow along a single line of conversation. "Why would we fight Gandermere? Over rye bread? Do they even have any other resources?"

Voosh didn't know the answer to that. He was still watching the cat, sleeping soundly as the sun set behind it. He thought of something else and said, "We're supposed to get a new guy, too."

Mumphrey said, "New guy?" Not sure whether this related to the sleeping cat or imminent war discussion.

"Yeah, a sailor. I talked to him before we set out last time, told him to meet us here tonight. Midnight at the Frozen Parrot. Today is Tuesday, right?"

"Yes. It's Tuesday. Who is this new guy?"

"Thought he could be a good replacement for Xarot. Not sure what the hell happened to him."

Mumphrey said, "Probably somebody's husband caught up with him and strung him up."

"Wouldn't surprise me." Voosh said, "Probably the only person that has more girlfriends than the King."

Mumphrey shook his head. "So, this new guy, he's a sailor?"

"Young guy. Maybe sixteen? Seventeen? Got the look about him, though. And he says he's always wanted to be a pirate."

"We're about to not be pirates anymore, remember?" Mumphrey said.

"Oh, right. I hope that's not a problem."

***

Voosh didn't like to walk into a bar through the front doors. He'd explained the reasoning to Mumphrey once, and it went along the lines of this: If everyone looked at you when you came in, that was a bad thing. It meant you were getting too famous. You couldn't be a good pirate if everyone knew who you were. If no one looked at you, that was a bad thing. Bad for the ego, he'd told Mumphrey. It meant nobody cared.

So when they went to the Frozen Parrot, Voosh always insisted on slipping in through the back door, up a flight of stairs, over the alley, and taking one of the tables on the second floor balcony. They usually didn't have trouble finding a table, even when the place was packed. Not a lot of people liked to sit upstairs because it made it harder to run if someone came in looking for you. On the first floor you could always go out a window.

Voosh and Mumphrey took the table closest to the back door and sat down, ordering a pair of drinks and waiting.

Mumphrey said, "What does this kid look like?"

"I believe the word you would use to describe him would be 'strapping'."

"So a big kid?"

Voosh nodded. "Not huge, like that guy that used to load crates by himself, remember him?"

"Something that started with an A, or an M. Not sure, but I know who you're talking about."

"Yeah, he's not that big." Voosh said. "But he's tall and in pretty good shape."

Mumphrey said, "I think he's coming this way."

Looking up and seeing the kid coming Voosh thought, he's not as big as I thought he was. Young, definitely, and perhaps strapping, but he looked younger than Voosh remembered now that he was actually looking at the kid. And he was healthy, but certainly not strapping.

Mumphrey said to the boy, "Sit down. You're Reed?"

"Yes. Indeed, I am." The boy said, taking a seat.

"We should get some drinks." Voosh said. "Are you even old enough to drink?"

"I'll just have some ale, if it's all right."

Voosh said, "Son, you could order Dwarven Whiskey in here and they'd serve it to you, long as you have money."

"I have a little." Reed said, seeming embarrassed.

"First round's on me." Mumphrey said.

"Thank you very much, sir." Reed said, bowing his head a little towards Mumphrey.

"You're going to have to cut that out." Voosh said.

"I'm sorry?"

"You're far too polite to be pirating, lad." Voosh said. "Relax. Be yourself."

"Right. Sorry." Reed shook his head. "I mean right."

"Right as rain." Mumphrey said, though he couldn't imagine why. Voosh was looking at him funny, and he shrugged.

"Stuff goes right into your brain, doesn't it?" Voosh asked, still looking at Mumphrey. He turned to Reed then and asked, "You ever killed a man?"

Reed looked concerned, shook his head and said, "No. I don't believe I have."

Voosh knocked back the rest of his drink and started looking for a barmaid.

Mumphrey said, "Don't worry about it. Most people haven't. Not even some 'real' pirates. You ever stolen anything?"

"Bread?" Reed said, like he wasn't sure if it was considered stealing if it was food.

"Did you need it, or just want it?" Voosh asked.

"I was hungry."

"S'not stealing if it's for need. It's provision procurement."

Reed said, "I'm not sure what you mean."

Voosh said, "Forget it. This stuff is going through me, and I can't seem to flag down a wench. I'll be back with some drinks. You said Ale, right?"

"Yes, sir. I mean, yes."

Voosh left and Mumphrey leaned back away from the table, studying Reed. He didn't look like much. A dirty white shirt, long scraggled hair. He could already pass for a pirate if he were armed. He was certainly dirty enough.

Mumphrey said, "Why do you want to be a pirate, again?"

"I hate this place." Reed said. "I want to get away."

"Where are your parents?"

"Mom died a couple of months ago. I've been on my own since then."

"Where's your father?"

"He hasn't been around for years." Reed said.

Something about the way he said that made Mumphrey pause. He said, "What did your mother do?"

"Ran a jewelry store."

"Jewels?" Mumphrey asked, his eyes widening.

"Not real ones. Fake. Costume jewels. Paste and glass and gilded engravings. Cheap, is what it's called." Reed said. "When she died I sold everything, even the store, and didn't make enough to live for a week after I paid all the outstanding debts. I'm not sure how she did it."

"And you think pirating is the answer?" Mumphrey asked.

"When she died, I decided right then and there, I was going to be a pirate."

"Voosh said you told him you'd wanted to be a pirate all your life."

"I did. I mean, I never thought I'd have the chance. But when she died, I decided to do it. You know. To go for it. Live out my dream."

"Of being a pirate?"

"Why do you keep asking me that?" Reed said.

"Pirating isn't fun. It isn't rescuing damsels and swinging from chandeliers. It's mostly dull and uninteresting work. It's sitting on a boat on the high seas, watching for another boat to come near, not too near, so that it sees you and runs, but near enough that you can catch it, after half a day's sailing, and if you don't manage to get blown apart by it's cannons, you jump on board, kill a few people, and take what they have, which isn't usually much. I've never in my life known a rich or a happy pirate. People get into this line of work because they have nothing else. Some survive, and some don't. The ones who do will tell you, if they had it to do over again, they'd do something else. Probably open a costume jewelry shop."

Reed just looked at him, unsure of what to say. He hadn't thought it would be all chandeliers and damsels, but he'd hoped there would be some of that in there somewhere. Something in the back of his mind told him he hadn't really considered the whole thing. Being on the run. Wanted by the law. What would happen if he were arrested? What would happen if he ended up in a dungeon somewhere because he'd tried to rob a ship and failed?

He started to ask Mumphrey why he became a pirate, but was interrupted by Voosh coming back to the table. He sat down with four drinks and said, "Met our new boss at the bar."

"New boss?" Reed asked. "You're pirates. You don't have a boss."

"We do now." Mumphrey said. "Oh, we forgot to mention. We're privateers now."

"What's a private ear?" Reed asked.

"That's exactly what I said." Mumphrey told him. "Exactly."

"It's true." Voosh said. "Ah, here's our man."

An older man, short and bald, skinny and angry looking, sat down at the table. He had a hood over his head, and he spoke from the shadow it cast over his face. "These are your men?" He seemed to be talking to Voosh.

"Yes, this is Mumphrey and this-"

"I don't need to know their names!" The old man said. "Just take the marks and sign the paper."

Voosh looked vaguely annoyed as he took the paper and a quill and signed his name to it. The mark was handed to him and he folded it up and put it in his jacket pocket.

The old man said, "There. Now you're official privateers in service of King Otho." He started to get up.

Voosh said, "Your drink?"

"Keep it." The old man said, and he disappeared into the crowd.

"Well, that was certainly exciting, wasn't it?" Voosh asked.

Mumphrey looked over at Reed who was frowning. He said, "Welcome to the life of a pirate."

****