Man, I have to start updating more often. Somebody send me an email every week and brow beat me into updating my page. Or something. I'm a serious slacker. It's been like 2 or 3 weeks now. I'm not even sure. I'm too lazy to even check.
Magpies. So, I'm reading some internets and I come across this. Apparently Oxford and Cambridge, two utterly prestigious schools, ask some really bizarre questions on their applications.
For example: What would you do if you were a magpie? (thus my title up there).
Here are some more:
Would you rather be a novel or a poem? (Novel. I don't think I rhyme with anything.)
How would you poison someone without the police finding out? (I think this one is one they just send all the answers to the cops so they can start checking for this stuff).
Why don't they let the managers of Ikea run the country instead of politicians? (Seriously, that's one of the questions. How bout, "Cause we don't want the country to fall apart if someone bumps into it.")
What does it mean to be happy? (I think you'll have to ask a magpie.)
How would you market a rock band? (I think putting their albums in poetry books would probably work good, don't you think?)
If it could take form, what shape would the novel "To the Lighthouse" become? (Duh. Lighthouse.)
Can a thermostat think? (Can a writer for a college application?)
How do you organize a successful revolution? (Guns.)
Is it morally wrong to attempt to climb a mountain? (Depends on what the mountain thinks, I guess. Kilimanjaro, no. Everest, yes.)
If I were a grapefruit would I rather be seedless, or non-seedless? (There's a vasectomy joke in there somewhere, I just can't find it.)
Do you think you're clever? (No. I think I'm a magpie.)
Would you say greed is good or bad? (I think it's good. No, bad. No, wait. What do magpies think?)
I'm stuck on the magpie thing. I couldn't tell you why.
Again, someone remind me to update this thing more often and I will. Next time I'm going to put a picture up of the Santa and the reindeers my parents brought me from West Virginia. I'd do it now, but I haven't gotten the picture off my phone yet, and yes, I'm too lazy to do it right now. Sue me.
(For all the good it'll do you. I'm a magpie.)
3 comments:
Some of the time when I come here, i'm already logged in. So really, this is just a test to see if I know my login/password.
Would you rather be a novel or a poem? (Poem. You don't have to be good to be remembered, just austere.)
How would you poison someone without the police finding out? (Poison the police first).
Why don't they let the managers of Ikea run the country instead of politicians? (Plausible deniability")
What does it mean to be happy? (You prescription was filled on time.)
How would you market a rock band? (Sabotage their plane [probably by poisoning the pilot], then sell the rights to their 15 minutes of posthumous fame to VH1)
If it could take form, what shape would the novel "To the Lighthouse" become? (Ceremonial Sword. Greatly admired by the cultural elite and completely dull)
Can a thermostat think? (No. If it could it would have committed suicide [probably by poison] after the n-th time someone said "Hot out today isn't it")
How do you organize a successful revolution? (A young man destined for greatness, a female lead that he does not get along with at first and a wizened mentor doomed to die before the end.)
Is it morally wrong to attempt to climb a mountain? (Only if you fail. History is written by the victors)
If I were a grapefruit would I rather be seedless, or non-seedless? (Seedless. Bitter and without merit isn't much of a stretch for me.)
Do you think you're clever? (Throw a "young man" on the end there and you'll be channeling Mom)
Would you say greed is good or bad? (Michael Douglas told me that greed is good; and neither Wall Street, Hollywood nor Republicans wold ever lie to me.)
I don't think I'm as clever as Travis, but here's a couple of answers.
Would you rather be a novel or a poem? (I want to be a poem, but I want to be really long, like a novel)
Why don't they let the managers of Ikea run the country instead of politicians? (I think maybe they are - government seems to go around in circles and get nowhere, sort of like an Ikea store and we certainly don't get our money's worth out of government programs)
Can a thermostat think? (Maybe, but it probably can't figure out that note I put up there saying "if you're cold, put on a sweater" - nobody else in my house can figure it out)
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