capital punishment.

since no one cares what i think (clearly, cause you don't comment on my blog, and seriously, it's the only currency my blog has, so you know, throw me a frikkin bone people!) i'm punishing you all by refusing to use capital letters. i know, i know, capital letters means you're yelling, so consider this like the silent treatment. only it's the undercase letter treatment. you'll get your capitals back when i'm good and ready.

movies i'm looking forward to:

tr2n, which has now thankfully been renamed tron legacy or some such rot. Who cares? it's got jeff bridges (the original flynn) and looks pretty darn cool. how come nobody does good sequel names anymore, like aliens, or....actually, sequel names aren't usually very good are they? i guess they could have called it trons... (how come bruce boxleitner's not in it? is he busy? does scarecrow and mrs. king still come on? i don't think it does.)

book of eli. denzel washington being all cool and stuff in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. gary oldman being a creepy bad guy. mila kunis being all actiony and stuff. word.

tv i'm looking forward to:

amc is doing a remake of the prisoner. i used to like watching this but didn't understand it until i was much older. looks cool though. it has magneto and that dude that could talk to dennis quaid thirty years in the past on his ham radio. good music too. that trailer is 9 minutes, btw, so save it til you have some time. also, if you're interested, you can apparently watch the entire 1967 series here.

random miscellany:

if you could travel back in time what would you do? you could go to hollywood and make movies, couldn't you? i could. i'd go and write awesome scripts like star wars and usual suspects and cast awesome 50's actors in the parts, and they wouldn't be nearly as good, but it would make me laugh. (i could see bogart and peter lorre and maybe ronald reagan or somebody in the 1940's version of usual suspects, right?) well, somebody decided they'd make ghostbusters in the 40's/50's and they even made a trailer!

ridiculously interesting clip on the history of gi joe, leading up to how we got the movie we're about to loathe. a few things of note:

- 0:21 seconds into the clip - that's a cartoon of a guy punching his fist through another guy. i'm almost sure of it.
- 0:23 gratuitous plastic white tiger...was that a gi joe figure?
- 0:40 robert mitchum movie "the story of gi joe" is the namesake for the figure. ooh, i need to put robert mitchum in my usual suspects movie.
- 0:59 there's a slight village people feel going on here, but...is that dude in the front a black panther?
- 1:13 that ridiculous beard. i had one of those. that beard was fuzzy.
- 1:17 the red beard. man, that doesn't look right. he should see a doctor.
- 1:24 kung fu grip.
- 1:41 the new 8" super joe lineup apparently includes no budget for "clothes". they are rocking some sweet leopard print boxers though. nice.
- 1:56 that second comic that comes out on your screen is gi joe #21, one of the greatest comic books of all time (imo). it has no dialog. it is a 22 page ninja (snake-eyes) infiltrating a cobra base to rescue scarlet (again, i'm not bitter about the romance plot that's being ruined in the movie. no, wait, yes i am.)
- 2:23 that guy calls out ripcord like he was one of the main dudes, because they put him in the movie. but while snake eyes and scarlet were both series 1 figures (1982) and duke was a series 2 figure (1983), ripcord didn't exist until 1984. and he was so popular he was discontinued in 86. nice.
- 2:44 the gi joe drug elimination force? really? did we sell that to kids? also, the dude doing the voiceover says "takes on the growing drug trade". like kids were pretending their joe's were battling in colombia over cocaine fields? really? does anyone remember this?
- 3:10 i remember sigma 6 (vaguely) but i don't remember either of those movies.
- 3:26 nice gratuitous boob shot of the baroness. thank you sienna miller.
- 3:53 and it's done.

final cast for 1940's usual suspects:

alan ladd ... michael mcmanus (in 1994, stephen baldwin)
cary grant ... dean keaton (in 1994, gabriel byrne)
boris karloff ... fred fenster (in 1994, benicio del toro)
peter lorre ... todd hockney (in 1994, kevin pollack)
humphrey bogart ... roger 'verbal' kint (in 1994, kevin spacey)
ronald reagan ... dave kujan (in 1994, chazz palminteri)
robert mitchum ... kobayashi (in 1994, pete postelthwaite)
lloyd bridges ... jack baer (in 1994, giancarlo esposito)
lauren bacall ... edie fineran (in 1994, suzy amis)
spencer tracy ... jeff rabin (in 1994, dan hedaya)

and yes, i spent half an hour looking people up for this movie. sue me. you would have watched this.