Good Stuff, Gimme the Good Stuff

Ok, for those of you starving for more quote-y goodness, we've started playing again.
And this is awesome: Steam Trek.
Want to know what the cat does all day while you're at work? Here's the truth!
New Stephen Chow movie: CJ7.
Seriously? This is the new KITT? Um...go new Knight Rider movie? I guess?
Is this a sequel to this? (Looks like it's not, but it should be. They should at least be in a box set together. Oh, well Kayla will like it, it has Steven Strait in it.)
Apparently Batman is now going to be John Conner and fight the Terminator.
Oooh, neato jellyfish thingy. I want one.
Many of you who know me know that I love John Carpenter Movies. One of my favorites is "The Thing". Most people know it was based on an older movie. Most people don't know it was also based on this story, written in 1938, which is now completely online for free.

OK, that's it for now. Go read the Thing.

Giggity-Games.

Well, I promised I'd go through these games, so here they are. There's lots of them.

Distance Games:
Monkey Kickoff How far can the monkey kick?
Drop Kick the Faint Punk rocker kicks a dude to see how far out of the club he can get him.
Space Hamsters Try to get the hamsters to fly.
Kitten Cannon How far will the kitty go?

Puzzle Games:
Puzzle Inlay Blame my wife for this one. She found it.
Theseus and the Minotaur A logic puzzle game. Try to escape the maze.
You Don't Know Jack The Classic trivia game.

Action Games:
Matrix Rampage 2 Actiony jumping game. Kind of reminds me of Elevator Action.
Zebedee Numchuck Race to the top!
Press the Spacebar No, seriously, that's all you do.
Crypt Raider This game and the two that follow it are all similar. They're like Boulder Dash, if you remember that.
Acno More boulderdashy goodness.
Aqua-Energizer Again with the Boulderdash.
Avoision I really like this one. Keep the ball away from the marauding bugs!
Splash Back I might have posted this before. It's kind of neat.
City Smasher Play a GIANT monster trying to destroy a city.
Beliefs Very strange game. Sidescroller mostly, but it's totally weird.
Quadradius Two player elimination game.
Ownage Very nice sidescrolling shooter. Kind of like Cabal. If you remember that.
Zwok This is a weird multi-player war game where you throw things...and yeah.
Fishy Eat fish smaller than you. Get bigger. Rinse. Repeat.
Block Head Zombies Fun. Like lego-headed zombies. Lots of blood.
Campaign Weird strategy game where you try to take over the US as a presidential candidate. Fun for the whole family. Play as a Republican or Democrat. (If it had Get-Up-Licans and Get Down-O-Crats, I'd be happier).
4-Second Frenzy Like Wario Ware. Little 4 second mini-games.
Avalanche Try to climb up before the water gets you. See how high you can go.
High Speed Chase Woot! Fast car.

Text Games:
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy The original Text adventure. I played this on a C-64.
Trukz I have no idea why (or how) but this is a truck driving text adventure. Maybe my parents will like it.
Oregon Trail Again, I played this on the C-64.

Online MMO or RPG weirdness:
Rings of Orbis I have no idea what this is about.
Duels Or this, but it appears to have something to do with dueling.
Oil Empire Apparently you run some kind of Oil Empire. Probably a resource management game.
Mafia Returns Apparently, you're in the mafia.
Mafia Boss Also, mafia. La Cosa Nostra. Or whatever.
The Last Knights Fantasy.
Conquer Club No idea. Sounds neat though.
Tales of Pirates Woot! Pirates.
Carnage Blender Didn't play it. Don't know.

Sports Games:
Buzzerbeater This is some kind of basketball simulator.
PGA Golf The page looks pretty, but I didn't bother playing it.
Curveball It's like 3-D pong.
Dashabooja I'm barely qualifying this as a sport. It's supposed to be like playing 10 hands of poker at once, but it feels more like a slot machine.

Good Turkey Day

So, Thanksgiving went off well, Allison made the most excellent turkey, and we had hams and such. It was delightful.

I still didn't sort out all those gamey type things I said I was gonna. I know. I'm a slacker. That's irrelevant at the moment because...well, it's my blog, I guess cause I say so. What are you gonna do?

While you're preparing proper retribution for my not giving you games, go look at bees. Bees are cool.
Ok, fine, so bees leads to B-Movies. Oh man, that was a good segway.
I wish I had one for this. It's just food pairing.

Ok, that's it. Hope you had a good holiday.

Weekend Goodies.

I found a metric ton of links to webgames but I haven't finished compiling them yet, so that will have to wait for like Monday or something. But for now, I have some goodies for the weekend.

Check out this Squirrel playing dead.
If you're having trouble deciding between the Venison Carcass and the Elk Carcass for Thanksgiving, then...these pictures aren't going to help you.
I love this song.
The great Pizza Orientation Test.
The University of California Marching Band's tribute to Video Games. This is neat.
I find this game Infectious. (Ho ho, I'm so clever).
Free Rice. This is some kind of Vocabulary game, and when you get answers right they send free rice to hungry people. Or something. I didn't really bother reading all of it.
Paint Lines to help the ball get home. It's paintball. But not the kind you would normally think of.

Woot! I'm semi-famous.

Which is better than infamous because it has more letters. And a dash. That dash is cool, right? The point being I got a shout out from Freeman's blog, cause he's all awesome and stuff and really, the two of us are just like gangster rappers, tossing shout outs and stuff. So, if you're one of the 9 to 12 people reading this blog (that's 1d4+8) go check out his page, cause I'm sure he'll be happy to have .01% more traffic.

Oh, you probably need the address.

It's here. Also, somewhere over in that direction -> I'm going to add his page to my list of things, which I've been meaning to do for like a month now but gangster rappers are lazy. (If you're a gangster rapper reading this page two things, 1.) You're not lazy. That was just a joke. 2.) What the heck dude, why are you reading this?)

Linkies time:

SPOCK! It's SPOCK!
We all need more Free Comic Books in our lives (via Mangoat).
Hate on Cruise all you want, but I'm going to see this movie: Valkyrie.
It's odd to me that i haven't mentioned Orisinal before, since they do a lot of webgames that always intrigue me. Maybe I have, but I just forgot. I like this one. Anyway, I bring it up because I keep seeing people talking about the Crossing. Which is a very simple game, but might be the most beautiful webgame ever.

Why the Writer's Guild is Striking


Some other Stuffs:

I want some of these. If you're looking for Christmas Gifts for me or whatnot, these are actually pretty cheap. Though they're sold out of them right now.
This webpage is fantastic. Just let it load and enjoy the show.
Go play NEWTON. It's a tank game.
Or you can go play Pac-Txt. It's like pacman in text adventure form. Actually, that's exactly what it is.

Gas pumps hate me, or something.

So, here's a story. I go to put gas in my car, right? This is a perfectly reasonable thing to do, I think. I've done it before. I'll probably do it again. So, I'm thinking, I know what I'm doing.

I pull up to the gas station, I get out, undo the gas cap, and I check out the pump. Now, normally, I don't look at the instructions for using the gas pump, like I said, I've done this before. But this one caught my eye for some reason, maybe it was it's placement, or the fact that it had big bright white letters or something. Anyway, what it says to do is 1.) Remove the nozzle from the gas pump and then 2.) Select a fuel grade.

This confused me for just a moment, because I'm used to doing what I do first, which is sliding my credit card and telling it either my pin number or my zip code so that it knows it's me. Cause it's not possible that anyone stealing my wallet and ending up with my credit card is going to know my zip code, right? Cause it's not printed on my driver's license or anything. See? Security procedure's working fine.

Anyway, I forgo my normal modus operandi and actually follow the instructions. I refrain from sliding my card first and try to be, you know, all helpful citizen and stuff, doing what the little signs tell me. So I remove the nozzle; I select a fuel grade. At this point, nothing happens. So I'm stumped. The instruction sign ends here. It doesn't say what to do now.

But I'm no fool. I should be able to figure this out. I check out the digital readout on the gas pump. It says "Slide card now." Or, more accurately what it says is 5LIDE CARD NOW, cause the 5 and the S are suspiciously similar. So I 5lide my card.

At this point, the gas pump says "INVALID PAYMENT METHOD" And just starts flashing. Er...Invalid Payment Method? I don't think so. It's a credit card. It worked when I bought lunch with it. Heck, it worked yesterday when I bought gas. Now it's invalid? I don't think so. I think if I'd tried to pay with string that would be INVALID PAYMENT METHOD. I'd like to pay with broken promises and childhood memories, is that ok? INVALID PAYMENT METHOD. Yeah, Ok, I'll buy that. But a credit card? That's VALID PAYMENT METHOD if ever there was one.

So, I gotta trek to the store. This is ok, it's a small parking lot, there's a lady working in there, I go in and tell her what happened. In fact, what I said, cause I'm always trying to be funny is "I think I broke your gas pump." She looks aghast at this news and I quickly follow that up with, "It's just blinking at me." She looks down at her gas pump-o-matic 3000 or whatever and pushes the reset button and says, "Try sliding your card first."

Yeah, thanks lady, from this point on any signs you have posted are pretty much getting ignored. Thanks for the heads up.

So, I go do things like normal and the pump works fine. I'm sitting there looking at the little sign thinking why would you even do something like that? Here's some instructions that don't work! Have a nice day!

But then, tragedy, when I finish pumping my gas, the little digital readout says "RECEIPT INSIDE". I can only assume it means the clerk has my receipt, because if it's inside the gas pump there's not much chance of me getting it without getting arrested or blowed up. So I trek back to the gas station.

Here's where it gets weird.

I go in and tell the clerk, "It says you have my receipt."
She says, "Yeah, here you go."
In another last ditch effort to get at least a chuckle I say, "I guess your gas pump is out to get me."
And here's where it goes off the rails. Her response to that, which I can't for the life of me still understand, is:
"I think all the gas pumps in Texas are out to get you. No offense."

Um...what? I mean, as a general overview of gas prices being high, then yes, I concur, all the gas pumps are out to get me. Not just me, but everyone, it would seem. And if that was her intention, that's fine, but why the "No offense."? Was I supposed to be offended that all the gas pumps are out to gouge me? Not just me but people in general? Was she saying I looked poor? The car I was driving was a rental, a brand new 2008 Black Ford Taurus. It didn't look cheap. It' s not a hooptie. I wasn't wearing a tuxedo or anything, but Lady, you're working at a gas station! No offense.

I still don't know what to make of that.


Anyway, here's some links while you ponder the mystery that is the Lady at the Gas Station's words of wisdom.

STUMP: The game.
Ramps. Another game.

WANTED: The movie. There's no way this is going to be as dark as the comic it's based off of, I guarantee that.
Underworld 3? Well, at least if there's more Kate Beckinsale in skin tight leather it can't be all bad.

Joss Whedon, who you may or may not know as the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly (that's a great series if you've never seen it) is coming back to television with a new show. That's good news!

I love this, cause I love wacky Japanese shows, but this one's good. The world record holder for walking speed is practicing on a track in Japan. Apparently the idea was to send a group of armed Samurai after him to see if he would run or walk away. Oh, yeah, it's fantastic. What did he do? You'll have to watch to find out.

Finally, I'm not even sure what the most interesting thing about this post is. Is it that they're making a Shazam movie? Or that they've signed the Rock to play Black Adam? (Seriously, that's good casting.) Or the fact that the Rock leaked this information while he was filming a remake of Escape from Witch Mountain. It's the Witch Mountain thing, right?